So anyway, this is how I was feeling after I heard this. It's scribbled on an A & W napkin, so I think I must have written it when I was at my then, mall job, and sitting in the lunch room.

Without further wait:

I'm feeling sadness like I haven't felt in a long time. I'm not upset, I'm not entirely angry; I'm just sad.
Nepotism sucks. Unless of course there's someone that I know that can help me out :)
I feel the sadness has washed over me and caused an ocean of tidal waves in my stomach. I feel like I could be sick at any moment. I'm hot. I feel that if I close my eyes too long, the tears will start to flow and I'll have a lot of trouble finding a way to stop them. I feel as though my breath is short - and so am I. I feel as though I can't fully FEEL the emotions that are dwelling inside me, because I don't want to dwell on the disappointment.

Expecttions breed disappointment?
OR
A goal without a plan is just a wish?

My plan hasn't worked the way I'd hoped it to. I want my next life to start. I want a bigger house, babies, a fulfilling workday, financial freedom... and I seem to have just stumbled on yet another hurdle to this dream.
A stumble is just a misstep, not a failure. The failure is staying down and not continuing on.
I know I can keep it together until I have to tell someone else - then it's much more real.

Wow. I'm so glad that I wrote that down. Some things have changed since then and some things haven't. Of course, I'm still not teaching - but I do believe that it'll happen for me, if not something even better. I just wish it would hurry up a little...

I think that's enough for tonight.